One of a few things I hate about visits from friends and family is the nonsense that everyone blurts out about not wanting to trouble the other party. Simple example: paying for dinner.

Honestly, I’m not gonna pay for your dinner if I don’t feel like it. You should do the same.

I am not one who likes to take advantage of friends or family. But here’s the thing: if you said you wanted to pay for dinner, I take it that you really do want to pay for dinner and not just being nice for the sake of maintaining a good relationship. A good friendship is not measured in how fancy a dinner you could buy me. Heck, we could share a bowl of instant noodles for all I care.

So don’t offer to pay for dinner unless you mean it, because I won’t hesitate to accept the offer. And when I say I want to pay for dinner, please just let me do it because I feel like doing it. If we both feel like paying for it, we should simply split the bill. Frankly, if you don’t want to trouble me, don’t come visit me.

I don’t know about you guys, but to me it’s that simple.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a rant about a friend’s visit that went sour. My good friend Andy treated me to a lot of fancy dishes these last two days, and I gotta tell you I enjoyed every one of them! He does, too, because he values the quality of our conversations more than any dish. And I know for a fact that he’s not a pretentious person.